2020 Bites the Dust

He was my support, the love of my life.

This last year has been a hard one for a lot of people. Politics in the United States broke records with kinds of never-before-seen behavior, both good and bad. And the regular folks had no idea how to respond or what to believe.

Speaking of record breaking, the weather did some of it’s own. Hottest year, more ice melt, bigger storms, stronger earthquakes, huge swathes of land on fire. Science says climate change is destroying the delicate balance of the planet. Yet, many don’t want to believe this. It’s too scary, too hard to understand. 

Then there’s the pandemic. An invisible thing, so tiny it can slip between the threads of a piece of fabric, seemed to come from nowhere to sicken people, fill hospitals, kill more people than wars. And once again, those of us on the ground didn’t know who or what to believe. How could the average person reconcile this threat when they couldn’t even understand what a virus is?

And the smaller, private pain. Mine was losing my soulmate, best friend, and staunch supporter a year ago in October. I had no idea just how bad losing a spouse could hurt. When I lost my beloved mom a few years ago, I thought it would kill me, but somehow I managed to drag myself through. Losing Ricky was worse. Even now, more than a year later, it feels like I’m only half me. I hurt so badly sometimes I can’t believe I can feel that and survive. But I do, and a big reason is because I know he wants me to survive. He always supported and encouraged me, and I still feel his love and support even now.

No matter how bad things get, we have to keep going. If we stop trying, we are letting down not only those around us, but those who are no longer with us. We have to not only hang on, but  each of us must try in our own special way to make things better. We all have something to offer. Let’s honor those who have gone before us by doing good in the world. 

Love to all of you,


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